The TRUTH… Can YOU handle it??










6:10 am This Sunny, VERY frigid morning in Connecticut… Brrr…. as I pour My first cup of coffee, I am running down the list in My head of things that need to be done today. The typical (typical of late, that is… NOT the NORM for Me) stuff for Me. Email first, clean, start dinner, bake the blueberry muffins I have been promising My kids… Check BLOGS! AHHHH… yes… the words that flow from others fingers! I love reading any blog that is about self examination, or self insight.. blah blah blah. You get it!

Much like everyone else I get notices emailed to Me about My blog and those that I follow.  This morning in particular, I received a notice of a new follower, well.. I,  OF COURSE had to go check out Her blog.  I am so glad that I did!! It seems I have found ANOTHER Woman who is aware of Herself… She is NOT afraid to ask herself some pretty hard questions! She is aware of Her thoughts, Her actions. It was an enjoyable and learning experience.

Reading Her blog inspired Me to look at Myself (as if I DONT look at and pick apart Myself enough?!?!) I feel as though I must ask Myself some hard questions.. with even more difficult answers!

Am I happy with Myself? Am I happy with where I am in My life thus far? What needs to change to improve My quality of life? Am I ready for change? Do I possess the strength needed to make those changes? Are My relationships HEALTHY? Where am I going in life? Am I the best ME I can Be?? These are MY questions to ask of Myself.

Can We, as Women tell ourselves the truth?

The truth? what IS the truth?

Merriam Webster  definition of truth “the true or actual state of a matter, conformity with fact or reality; verity: the truth of a statement, a verified or indisputable fact, proposition, principle, or the like,  the state or character of being true, actuality or actual existence.

TRUTH…Human reaction to this word will confuse Me sometimes. I feel like, when I ask someone to tell Me the truth, I am not always sure if it is THIER truth or what the TRUTH really is.  If We are going to be honest with ourselves and others then I feel We must see that there in lies the difference… PERCEPTION.. MY truth, YOUR truth and then the REAL truth. WE all see the same thing differently. Which is what I suppose makes the world go round, I would in fact have to blow My head off if EVERYONE thought the same exact way, did the same exact things the next person did. We, as humans, We are amazing creatures!

Ya know those “discovery channel” shows?  The ones about AMAZING animals, the way they live, eat, reproduce.. etc?  I have YET to see one about “Humans”  ok, this could really be a very long post.. there are so many differences from one Human to the next.  I  want to focus on how We, as Women handle, go about.. taking the time to really look at ourselves and how We tell ourselves the truth. Not how others see Us, just how We see Ourselves, and what We know to be TRUE about ourselves.

Come on, We have ALL lied to ourselves in one situation or another, whether it was to make the situation easier to deal with, or We didn’t have the time to deal with it at all, so We tell ourselves a NOT truth… We tell ourselves, it will wait… or it will take care of itself, or .. I CANT right now. “Can’t”.. I HATE that word! When one of My children use that word, I CRINGE! RIDICULOUS!!! NO SUCH WORD!! You may not be “able to” at the moment, however, there is NOTHING We can NOT do as long as We try and are willing to take the steps necessary to get that “thing”, “goal”.. etc.. done!!

So that would be the FIRST TRUTH… NOTHING We can NOT do, as long as We take the steps necessary to get it done. “GET ER DONE!!” comes to mind.. I used to watch those 4 comedians all the time, I do not remember the name of their show.. ya know, the 4 redneck comedians.. I know “Ron White” was one of them. My ex-husband and I went to see him Live… what an asshole HE can be!! Don’t get Me wrong, He is funny… an asshole the same. However, THERE is ANOTHER truth! I… ME… yes, I can be an asshole sometimes. I am not ashamed to say it. I don’t profess to be perfect by ANY definition or interpretation of the word “PERFECT”.  I say harsh things to those I love at times, when I feel it is needed. Sometimes even to My friends.. it is necessary sometimes.   I am not sorry about what I say, I am sorry that it may hurt sometimes. We as Women, Mothers, wives, sisters, friends, We have the responsibility to be Nurturing… caring…FIXERS!! THERE’S a TRUTH!!

We all try to be honest with ourselves, at least I hope We do. It is NOT an easy feat! Sometimes, looking at ourselves from the outside makes the Truth a little easier to see. Then We must decide to digest and accept it, or,  if it is not acceptable, change it!

I feel… and again, this is JUST MY OPINION.. and like everyone else, just like as asshole, WE ALL HAVE ONE! (laughing out loud now) My dad used to say that ALL the time.. HE didn’t like too many humans. I miss Him. He was a Hard ass Man.. no doubt. I believe that it is mostly because of Him that I am the Woman I have become.

Another TRUTH about Myself. I am not able at the present time.. no, that’s NOT the truth.. the TRUTH is.. I do not want to be part of a relationship with a Man.. ANY MAN at this time. Meaning… I know  Myself, and being part of a relationship with another adult, as in a boyfriend, fiancé, husband.. what have you… I do not choose that road. Reason? I am too selfish at this time. My children still need Me to focus on them. It is MY responsibility to assure they have the skills needed to be successful HUMANS! Also, the TRUTH is I do not want to be responsible for another humans feelings or actions. You can argue that this is not so in a relationship, IT IS!! What I DO, SAY, THINK.. will have some type of affect on either the relationship or the other human in the relationship.

I believe there are other Women in the world who may feel the same way. Maybe they are honest about it.. maybe not. Their choice. I find that when We pass judgment on others We are taking on the role of our Creator. (Trying to keep it P.C.. God, Allah, Buddha… Aliens… whomever YOU believe is Our Creator.. another post for another time). I certainly do not enjoy it when someone judges Me solely  on THIER beliefs. Because, again… Different beliefs.. different views.. different opinions.. that IS what makes US HUMAN!

Back to TRUTH. I think as long as We are able to SEE the TRUTH about Ourselves, then it is ALWAYS a positive thing! When We know and accept what needs to be changed, or improved, or deleted from Our person then We have SEEN the TRUTH.  What YOU do with that TRUTH makes it YOURS!

Can YOU tell Yourself the TRUTH? Can YOU HEAR… the TRUTH? I believe that when We are comfortable asking Ourselves the difficult questions, THEN We can make the necessary adjustments to Our being.  Because, after all…. isn’t LIFE just one big learning and growing experience.. ?

THIS is MY truth!!

Preach on you beautiful Blonde!
Preach on you beautiful Blonde!





Traditional Shabbot, or for those Yiddish speaking people, Shabbos Food (orthodox Jewish stuff for those of you not in the “know”..LOL :) ) .. I fell off the wagon!!

Shabbos… Defined properly (meaning Wikipedia description) the Yiddish term for Shabbat. The Jewish day of rest. Traditionally celebrated with a menu eaten in most every Orthodox Jewish Family home. The Menu is the same, of course there are variations… each family is different, however, most had the same every Friday night, did the same ritual every Friday night.. and did NOT use Electronic devices or operate any machinery, including driving a car to the Synagogue, pretty much no matter how old you were or how cold it was outside. Every Friday at sundown til Saturday at sundown. That is the day of rest, specific laws must be abided by.

For those of you who are saying to your selves, ohhhh those are the Jewish people that don’t use soap, right? No…that is not who they are and that is also not true about the soap thing.  Again, I am a realist, and at times not politically correct when I speak or write.  So if EVER I offend you by saying what YOU were actually thinking.. then let Me apologize ahead of time. ….are you waiting for the apology?… hmm… Don’t. Mostly due to the fact that I could give two shits what someone has to say about Me in a derogatory way. I know WHO and WHAT I am… DO YOU?. I say what I say because there is no malice behind any of My words, unless of course I have to cuss you out because you did something to ME personally or one of My kids, ya know,.. that Momma bear thing.  Yeh that’s ME.

Anyway.. lets get back to the point. My point being. I have over 10 years personal experience and research within the Orthodox Jewish Community where I live. Fact.. My former business partner and best friend is an Orthodox Jewish Man in his late 30’s. He is also a Taurus.. just like Me :). Only difference between Us is that HE is an orthodox Male, governed by his faith, He has a duty to uphold his beliefs no matter what. I am not Jewish, at least as far as the Orthodox Jewish Community is concerned. My Great grandfather was a German Jew, NOT My great grandmother. That is where the only Jewish relation is in My family tree..

Chuckling now. The running joke at one of our eateries was that I knew more about the Jewish faith then most non orthodox Jews in our Community. Ok, lets see if I can make this quick and easy to understand. This is what I know to be true of the laws about food in the Jewish faith. No dairy with Meat.. EVER! Bread can be eaten with either. Veggies can be eaten with either. These are considered parve. Parve is basically a neutral.. it can be eaten with either dairy or meat. there are a few things I still don’t understand.. LOL Ten years was not enough I guess. LOL

The point… So, I have stayed away from eating the traditional foods of Shabbos due to My love for all the fattening and super carb foods!! ahhh…. what I wouldn’t do for a pastrami burger right now!! Yup… I said it, a PASTRAMI BURGER!!! A HUGEMONGUS 1/2 pound PURE kosher beef, NOTHING added, except a little salt and pepper… cooked to a beautiful medium rare on the grill. Add a fresh made egg challah roll… WHAT?!!? Now add the pastrami, sliced very thin, grilled just for a few seconds to soften the thin line of fat… oh GOD… FOOGASM!!! I ate mine with grilled onions.. (ours were THE BEST hands down ANYWHERE in the state I live! then add a few leaves of lettuce, a slice of tomato, and don’t forget the mayo!! AMAZING what a thought can do to you physically! NOW I want to go cook a burger and be in a blissful stupor of food euphoria for a few hours! .. alas.. I cant. I am being a good girl if it KILLS Me!

Lets just get on with where the fuck I fell off My “wagon”.. So I know that when I am feeling in a way that isn’t so pleasant.. cooking usually gets Me right again. I tend to fall back to the foods that remind Me of a time when I felt right with the Universe. Hence…


Matbucha… a pepper and onion with a tomato base and a kick ass of hotness type of condiment. It can be eaten either cold or hot. I like Mine hot.

I don’t have measurements for this recipe because its kinda like one of those things you tweak YOUR way to make it right for you. Its SUPER easy and super fast. I feel that the longer it sits the better it gets.


Red peppers green peppers, Vidalia onions… Slice these all length wise

I can of tomato paste per 8 peppers

1 can of diced tomatoes, regular size can.

hot pepper paste of your choice

crushed red peppers

salt and pepper to taste

1/2 head of crushed garlic. or 2 tblsp powdered garlic.

Again, this recipe can be made truly YOUR own, just experiment, what is the worst that can happen? it wouldn’t be that perfect condiment taste? ok, then just throw it into some spaghetti sauce and you haven’t wasted anything!!

Here’s how to prepare it.

sauté the peppers and onions in olive oil, make sure you have at least two tablespoons in the pan. Once they are softened add the tomato paste, hot pepper paste, crushed red peppers, diced tomatoes and garlic. Cook on simmer until the sauce thickens just a little, all the veggies are soft and bendable and the sauce has darkened in color. It can burn because of the sugar in the tomato paste so pay attention. I usually add a few more tablespoons of olive oil, and I make a bigger amount then normal because My whole family loves this on EVERYTHING!! Fried eggs, scrambled eggs, they like it on top of pork chops, on top of chicken breast, on their Italian grinder subs.. One of My offspring put some on top of the veal stew .. she said it was BLAZING!!


Have fun cooking!  Satie

Now I want Noodle Kugel!! UGHH!!

FOODGASM! …Cooking Therapy??.. crazy easy cheezy dip, Matbucha, Veal Stew (crockpot), Tomato salad, Breakfast Bake.

veal stew 2

By now I am sure you realize that not only do I love to eat, I love to cook! Its not just the flavors that hit My pallet, its the soothing therapy that affects My soul… the inner Me that needs that little reminder that there are things bigger then Us, there are those, in need, REAL NEED, and My petty bitches and complaints are ridiculous. Cooking does more then feed hungry people. It has the ability to reconnect YOU with the Universe as a whole.

CRAZY CHICK ON THE LOOSE… is THAT what you are thinking? Are you wondering if the back pain meds have finally taken Me over the edge?? It hasn’t, I PROMISE! Stick with Me while I explain.. don’t worry, I am chuckling as I type and reread what I ve written. 🙂 So here is My thought process… I take fresh produce that was grown by someone who has to put their heart and soul into taking seeds and caring for them until they produce the labor of their love.. VEGGIES! Now We use these veggies in our meals, that We as providers, (providing shelter, love food, to our offspring) prepare lovingly for those that We care about.. whether that is your immediate family, relatives, or your business.. YOU are taking time from your life, a moment to create something nourishing for another human, and if you are sitting together sharing this meal with others that you care about, you are also nourishing each others Minds, and hearts and thoughts.

GOOD FOOD has the ability to bring people together. When people get together there is always some type of nourishing going on..Seriously! Think about it… We all know that Chocolate has some type of happy maker inside it, I mean for years I’ve heard Women speak of the AMAZING healing power of chocolate when “AUNT FLO” is in town. It never worked for Me, however I really didn’t have a difficult …. visit when she came monthly. OMG, how did We get from fresh produce to “Aunt Flo”.. see what happens when I get started on a roll.. 🙂

Point? … Yes, I remember now. Good food mixed with great people makes for fabulous memories/moments. Good Food can heal wounds, make memories to last a life time, create new friendships.. FOOD is LIFE!!

For Me cooking is a kind of therapy. My kitchen is a safe place for Me, its sacred and all of those who love Me are aware and respect that. YES! I take My kitchen seriously!! I mean, I am all for teaching others how to cook, at the same time, I have very expensive pieces of machinery and other cooking tools that I value and I really don’t trust any of My immediate (meaning the rugrats) family (and the ex) with ANY of My tools for cooking!! There! I said it… Neurotic? Quite possibly.

Onto the recipes and directions. Honestly, these may be the easiest recipes for some really GOOD food!! I’m not sure if I had mentioned this before, I LOVE LOVE LOVE to use ingredients and make Meals that I can “upcycle” the leftovers!! . The Veal Stew and the Breakfast bake are two “upcycled”  Meals.

veal stew

Veal Stew


Veal Breasts (previously roasted, whatever is left over, including bones, juices and fat)

2-3 stalks of celery, chopped however big you prefer.

about 20 mini carrots chopped, or 4 medium carrots, chopped again, however you prefer.

2 large, or 4 small onion or more if you love onions, chopped.

about 3 cups or so water or stock (you can use chicken or beef stock. I find beef stock to be overwhelming to the veal taste that I am looking for from veal stew.

any leftover veggie you might have from the night you prepared the Roasted veal, or don’t add anything else at all, totally YOUR call. I made sautéed baby zucchini with onions the night I made the Veal, so I added this to the pot.

4 to 6 medium/small white potatoes, or whatever type of potatoes you have in the house.. IF you have leftover mashed, add those to the pit too, believe it or not, it makes an incredible taste and thickens the stew.

salt and pepper to taste, I added these after the stew cooked for awhile and I could gauge the taste better.

I chopped the onions, carrots and celery, added 3 tablespoons of olive oil and threw those into My large Crockpot, set it at 400, put the lid on and let the veggies cook for about 12 minutes, checking on them of course. When the veggies are softer and the onions are near translucent add the veal, bones, meat, fat and juices. Stir it all up.. I like to move the veggies so that the veal is on the bottom and the veggies are laying atop the veal. (This adds more flavor to the stew, when you add the stock or water, whatever liquid you chose, it releases the meat from the bottom of the hot crockpot and alllll those yummy bits of goodness!) I let it sit covered at 400 for about 15 minutes. Add the liquid and whatever leftover veggies you want, stir, cover and turn it down to 300.

Now, here is where the cooking time varies. I am using it tomorrow for dinner, I started it this morning, I have had it cooking at 250 in the crockpot for about 8 hours so far. Most of the bones have been released by the connective tissue, fat and meat. Basically that is your cue to add the potatoes, when the meat has fallen off the bones… or close to it. Now if you’re setting this up in the morning and want it done by the time you get home from work, I assume around dinner time, then you would just dumped all the ingredients into the crockpot, set the temp to 275 and away you go! By the time you get home you’re dinner will be done and ready to serve. The only thing I would add is a crusty loaf of bread to accompany the stew, OH and a glass of fabulous wine.. BON APETIT!!

****Here’s a helpful hint..  any fatty meat cooked in a crockpot  will be very oily when the meal is done, it is VERY easy to remove this layer of liquid fat. I use a soup ladle.. you gently lower it into the stew, not letting the rim of the ladle dip below the layer of fat, the liquid fat will fall into the ladle, you continue doing this til the amount of fat you want removed is gone. If you are TOTALLY freaked out and need ALL the liquid fat out of your stew then, after the ladle trick, take coffee filters and lay them across the top of the stew, they will soak up the fat, pay attention when doing this, as soon as the fat adheres itself to the filter, lift the filter out.. repeat as necessary.

breakfast bake

Breakfast Bake::

A loaf of any bread you have left over will work for this recipe, preferably something with fruit and/or nuts in it, maybe a cinnamon bread type thing, or even a loaf of plain Italian bread. ANY BREAD!! SERIOUSLY.. This is a recipe I saw on one of the cooking shows from the food network.. I tweaked it to fit My family’s tastes and preferences.  It is very similar to a bread pudding, but My family named it Breakfast Bake.

Pause…. I HAD to go and take a taste now that I am talking about it.. FAIR WARNING!! IF you are trying to lose weight DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT MAKE THIS RECIPE!!! OMG it is sooooooo FREAKING YUMMY!!! And this is an easy as I don’t know what recipe!!

What you need: 9×13 baking dish.

approx. 4 cups chopped up or ripped apart bread of your choice.

1 1/2 sticks butter, chopped up

9 eggs

3 cups milk or half and half, or cream, or evaporated milk, whichever you have to use, remember the higher the fat in the dairy liquid of choice, the less you use, finish the total amount needed with water.

1/2 cup dark brown sugar

1/3 cup white sugar

2 teaspoon vanilla

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

This is the easy part!!

beat the eggs until they are well blended (all yellow, no clear parts of the whites still not incorporated) Add the liquid dairy of choice, both sugars, vanilla, and cinnamon. Chop the butter and add to the torn up bread pieces, toss well. Pour egg mixture over bread, toss to coat all bread pieces. Smoosh the bread down into the baking dish, forcing it to soak up the liquid. Put the baking dish in the fridge, covered overnight (if you absolutely cant wait til the next day, let it sit in the fridge at LEAST 4 hours before baking)

Bake at 350 for approx. 40 minutes. Check on it after 30 minutes. I usually turn the oven off 5 to 10 minutes before the breakfast bake is done, and let it sit in the oven  to finish cooking. This way I don’t over do it and dry out the custardy texture.

I serve it sometimes with syrup, sometimes with some powdered sugar sprinkled across the top. I believe the best part of this recipe and this meal is that it can be cut into squares, frozen in sandwich bags and pulled out in the morning by you or your offspring, popped in the microwave, or toaster oven (My kids favorite way) and eaten anytime, right at your finger tips!! Served warm with vanilla ice cream is a FOODGASM for sure!

P.S. I tried to add all My step by step photos, not sure what went wrong.. could be the “blonde” thing again, or just that this computer is a piece of shit… Man or the Machine Up for discussion..LOL..

Next Post.. Crazy easy cheezy dip, Matbucha, and Tomato salad

Sweet Dreams!