AFTER you let your Ex-Husband move in….

We were married Sept 26, 1993. We were divorced May 11, 2010. The divorce was My decision, he fought Me the entire way. I knew the true reason he did not want a divorce… He had no one else to take care of him. (My ego is not responsible at all for what I am about to say) He fell apart after our divorce. Did he have “Girlfriends”, to hear him tell it, no one was at “Girlfriend” status, they were all just friends.. that he had sex with..LOL We hated each other for about three years, trying and succeeding at making each others lives hell for a temporary moment. He and I have been through many years together, We have had 5 children together, There is still a bond … of responsibility I feel towards him. It sounds confusing I am sure, however, its very simple. I promised to take care of him til the day he dies. Even if I was in a serious relationship (I doubt that will EVER happen again.. or at least as long as I stay perpetually horny!.. LOL) even if, as I was saying, HE would have to be a special man to understand that relationship I have and will continue to have with My Ex-Husband, for the rest of his life.

As the Title of this post implies, I let My ex move into My apartment about 4 months ago. This decision was made with the knowledge that he would be homeless if I did not let him move in, temporarily. At the time of him moving in, I was single, and by the way.. LOVING IT!!!  **Side note** I am not such a typical female. I LIKED sleeping alone, I LIKED waking up alone, I LIKED MY closet to MYSELF… HA! I could go on… futile now though…**

I laid down the rules before He moved in, so that there would be no misunderstandings later. I had .. “Friends” and they would come to My house and visit Me. At that specific moment I was seeing One Man in particular. He was sweet, good looking, somewhat kept in shape. However, He was … how do I say this… a “Mama’s Boy”. I mean, he tried to be a bad boy, telling Me of his younger years when He was in “the game” ..LOL The “Game”… another post for another day when I am in the mood for sharing. Anyway.. He became too clingy and I could see that He was not motivated enough to be My “Man”. I have this rule. If We have only been seeing each other for under a month and you ask Me to borrow money, or you need gas to come see Me… We are DEFINATLY not going to make it to the 2nd month!! And He lived at home, using the excuse that His parents needed him there to help care for them, which come to find out was bullshit! OH, and making love… well… it was like being humped by a sperm whale. (tiny giggle) I cut him loose after the second weekend He spent at My home, while My ex slept on the couch. I must admit, the Man I was seeing handled it quite well, the ex sleeping on the couch, while We were in My bed, the sperm whale and I. (again I giggled) My children on the other hand.. well, I usually go with THEIR feelings when it comes to Who I let into our lives. This one, they did not like or feel comfortable around, Yup… had to cut him loose.

Did you notice how I used the suffix ‘ed’ in the second paragraph, a few times? Yeh, well… that is because I am NO longer sleeping, waking or having My closet to MY ALONE!!! After the third month, I gave into My ex-Husband and agreed to give it another try. Quite honestly, I already know what a fuck up HE is, I know HIS annoying habits, HIS screwed up ideals and ideas… I am USED to him. I also know… how to get what I want from HIM, I know how to play a perfectly tuned piano.  Did that sound fucked up? Selfish? Wrong?  Frankly, I don’t care if it does. HE is getting what HE wants out of this… agreement,  as am I.. to a certain extent. The sex is scarce, it doesn’t happen often and when it does, its NOT what I am used to. He is sweet though and He is truly trying to do everything He can to make our lives better and do more things together.

If I were to be honest, which I don’t see any point in lying.. I will admit, I am not “in love” with him.. maybe that will come in time, at the moment I love him and I made a commitment to him. I have been faithful thus far. I don’t know how much longer that will remain a fact. I suppose as long as I wish to continue doing the “right” thing…. devil on one shoulder, angel on the other..

I bid you all good night and peaceful dreams.

XOXO Satie


HELLLLP!!! This blog is being created by a BLONDE!!!

Ok, so I AM a blonde… However I am NOT a “BLONDE”… for real, I was born a toe-head, blue-eyed ivory skinned, built like a German tank, BUT.. beautiful BLONDE (hence the Toe-head) baby girl to My beautiful red-headed Irish Mother and an English ( that’s what we’ve been told, by some, that’s another day for another posts when I feel like allowing you all to become “Freudians” again, and try to dissect what My REAL issues are… LOL.

I SWEAR I am going to punch the stupid monitor! Am I THE ONLY person feeling like a complete IDIOT because I can’t get this damn blogging format, theme, page, widget, thingy right!!!  It feels like I’ve been lying to Myself for the past 15 years, thinking I understood a DAMN thing about modern technology!!

dads typerwriter

Does anyone remember 8 track tapes?? Or a car called a Barracuda!! Or how about when we used to get up off OUR LAZY American asses to change the damn channel on the TV?!?!?!?  I can’t believe how lazy, Americans can be! But that’s not what this post is about.. It’s about Me trying to figure this page thing out, Like I said I thought I knew a little something about this crap… sigh… I must .. admit… d e f e a t … UGH SHOOT Me NOW!!!

I will continue to try to get this damn thing right and at the same time hold YOUR interest enough for you all to keep coming back,,.. Who knows… The next book YOU read just might possibly be ,… MINE! 🙂

XOXO Satie

Sunday Dinner… cooking itself while I enjoy the day with My kids!

Good Sunday Morning!!  This is My easy as heck Sunday dinner recipe for Chuck roast, done in a crock pot (two crock pots, if your family is as big as mine)

Sundays at My house have always been the same, when I was married, after the divorce and at the current moment. I wake up when I am ready. The kids sleep until they smell something cooking, usually grits, bacon and/or sausage, eggs, pancakes, French toast bake (recipe to come next Sunday morning). Today however, I chose not to make breakfast, instead I got tonight’s dinner in the crock pot and started, reason? Home this morning are only the two youngest and My ex husband… (Ill explain about him on the “relationship” page). My oldest (that still lives at home) is currently at work, from 8 am this morning til 4:30 this afternoon. Also, I promised My youngest son, he is 12, that I would take him and his best friend to the skate park in West Haven, there they can practice skateboarding tricks, hopefully nothing gets broke today..arm, leg..ya know…body parts 🙂 I like the skate park in West Haven because its HUGE, FREE and across the street from the beach.. which happens to be My favorite place in the world.. The Beach.. ANY beach. I feel a connection whenever I am there, the water, the smell, the sound… it brings Me peace and clarity..again, another page for that part of My life 😉

Ok…. On to the recipe.. Remember this is My first Blog with pictures and step by step instructions so bare with Me please.



3-4lbs chuck roast (or any inexpensive cut of beef, listen, when cooked in a crock pot even the cheapest cuts of beef become tender and flavorful)

2-3 large Vidalia onions (Vidalia or “sweet” onions are My favorite for all purpose use, red onions are My second favorite)

7 cloves crushed garlic (I use a garlic press, I STRONGLY suggest investing in a good one)

4 stalks celery

4 large carrots (ok, so My 16 yr old daughter threw away the bag od mini carrots I had in the fridge because they “looked” dried out… today there are not carrots in the pot, however it will still taste amazing)

1 pkg Trader Joes dried mixed mushrooms ( you can use whatever mushrooms YOU like..I use dried because they are SOOOOO versatile and I make a lot of soups in the winter and cream of mushroom is My families favorite)

1/2 a 5 lb bag of Yukon Gold potatoes or approx. 10 potatoes (you can use whatever type of potatoe YOU like, I prefer Yukon golds because they are not as starchy as eastern whites or idahos)

Salt & pepper to taste

1/2 cup Cabernet Sauvignon (Barefoot winery is My FAV)

1 tbsp of gravy master

1 14oz can of beef broth

3 tbsp of GOOD olive oil 

2 tbsp dried Thyme (I love thyme with ANY meat dish)

This is the easy part… The instructions!

oil in the pot first, turn the heat to 400. Cut onions and potatoes into chunks, approx. 1inch squared (if you have carrots, cut the same as other veggies), add to pot. Crush garlic, add to pot, cut celery into smaller chunks, add to pot. Add salt, pepper, thyme, gravy master, wine and mushrooms. Let cook for approx. 5 minutes, mixing to coat all ingredients. Now add meat, I lay the meat pieces on top of the veggies for the first 15 minutes, then add the beef broth.  (Oh, I use the meat FROZEN, that’s the best part of using a crock pot, you don’t have to defrost most meats when using a crockpot.)

Best investment, a garlic press!
Best investment, a garlic press!
sweating veggies with wine :)
sweating veggies with wine 🙂

Let everything simmer at 400 for about 15 minutes, then turn down to 300, leave cover on and walk away!! Check every hour, (if you are home, if not, it will be fine, if you are going to be gone more then three hours leave the temp at 250) until meat is falling apart and the potatoes are tender… The juice/gravy will taste so good you will want to drink it!! The finished product picture will be posted later, however this is what it looks like as it cooks.


Enjoy your Sunday… I am off with the brats to have some fun while dinner cooks without Me 🙂


So, I started this blog because I believe in sharing life experiences, recipes, helpful hints, ways to improve ourselves… My opinions, which may or may not be liked.. but isn’t that what having your own blog is for? I find life amusing, most of the time. There are days when I would rather be sipping a fruity drink, on a beach, with NO ONE else around… Unfortunately, I can only go there in my mind.. for now.

A little… ok, maybe A LOT about Me in this post… I am a 45 year young Mother of 5, grandmother of 2, was married for almost 18 years, divorced 4 years now (My choice).. I have never been wealthy, I come from a middle class working family. My parents were divorced when I was 10, another day for that conversation! If I were to describe myself.. my person as a whole, who I TRULY know myself to be.. well, I believe it may come across a bit narcissistic and egotistical, I can be harsh even when describing myself. I am a Taurus Woman, to the most extreme. Loyal to a fault… until one has betrayed me, then.. you are cut out of my life. Different then other women, I think and make decisions based on logic, not emotion. I can be very cold, however only when it is necessary. Yes, there are times when it IS necessary to be unemotional, cold, controlled. See… I am making myself sound like an ogre!!

My friends describe Me as loving, smart, helpful, determined, funny, bold, unafraid…sometimes an angel. Some of My “associates” (not loyal enough to be called a Friend) may describe Me as… “Not the one!!” I say what I mean and mean what I say. Simple.

This blog will have so much information, funny stuff, recipes (I am a chef and former restaurant/catering company owner) as well as being a Mother to 5 and learning how to survive being broke, it seemed.. all the time.

I hope you enjoy My blog..