6:10 am This Sunny, VERY frigid morning in Connecticut… Brrr…. as I pour My first cup of coffee, I am running down the list in My head of things that need to be done today. The typical (typical of late, that is… NOT the NORM for Me) stuff for Me. Email first, clean, start dinner, bake the blueberry muffins I have been promising My kids… Check BLOGS! AHHHH… yes… the words that flow from others fingers! I love reading any blog that is about self examination, or self insight.. blah blah blah. You get it!
Much like everyone else I get notices emailed to Me about My blog and those that I follow. This morning in particular, I received a notice of a new follower, well.. I, OF COURSE had to go check out Her blog. I am so glad that I did!! It seems I have found ANOTHER Woman who is aware of Herself… She is NOT afraid to ask herself some pretty hard questions! She is aware of Her thoughts, Her actions. It was an enjoyable and learning experience.
Reading Her blog inspired Me to look at Myself (as if I DONT look at and pick apart Myself enough?!?!) I feel as though I must ask Myself some hard questions.. with even more difficult answers!
Am I happy with Myself? Am I happy with where I am in My life thus far? What needs to change to improve My quality of life? Am I ready for change? Do I possess the strength needed to make those changes? Are My relationships HEALTHY? Where am I going in life? Am I the best ME I can Be?? These are MY questions to ask of Myself.
Can We, as Women tell ourselves the truth?
The truth? what IS the truth?
Merriam Webster definition of truth “the true or actual state of a matter, conformity with fact or reality; verity: the truth of a statement, a verified or indisputable fact, proposition, principle, or the like, the state or character of being true, actuality or actual existence.
TRUTH…Human reaction to this word will confuse Me sometimes. I feel like, when I ask someone to tell Me the truth, I am not always sure if it is THIER truth or what the TRUTH really is. If We are going to be honest with ourselves and others then I feel We must see that there in lies the difference… PERCEPTION.. MY truth, YOUR truth and then the REAL truth. WE all see the same thing differently. Which is what I suppose makes the world go round, I would in fact have to blow My head off if EVERYONE thought the same exact way, did the same exact things the next person did. We, as humans, We are amazing creatures!
Ya know those “discovery channel” shows? The ones about AMAZING animals, the way they live, eat, reproduce.. etc? I have YET to see one about “Humans” ok, this could really be a very long post.. there are so many differences from one Human to the next. I want to focus on how We, as Women handle, go about.. taking the time to really look at ourselves and how We tell ourselves the truth. Not how others see Us, just how We see Ourselves, and what We know to be TRUE about ourselves.
Come on, We have ALL lied to ourselves in one situation or another, whether it was to make the situation easier to deal with, or We didn’t have the time to deal with it at all, so We tell ourselves a NOT truth… We tell ourselves, it will wait… or it will take care of itself, or .. I CANT right now. “Can’t”.. I HATE that word! When one of My children use that word, I CRINGE! RIDICULOUS!!! NO SUCH WORD!! You may not be “able to” at the moment, however, there is NOTHING We can NOT do as long as We try and are willing to take the steps necessary to get that “thing”, “goal”.. etc.. done!!
So that would be the FIRST TRUTH… NOTHING We can NOT do, as long as We take the steps necessary to get it done. “GET ER DONE!!” comes to mind.. I used to watch those 4 comedians all the time, I do not remember the name of their show.. ya know, the 4 redneck comedians.. I know “Ron White” was one of them. My ex-husband and I went to see him Live… what an asshole HE can be!! Don’t get Me wrong, He is funny… an asshole the same. However, THERE is ANOTHER truth! I… ME… yes, I can be an asshole sometimes. I am not ashamed to say it. I don’t profess to be perfect by ANY definition or interpretation of the word “PERFECT”. I say harsh things to those I love at times, when I feel it is needed. Sometimes even to My friends.. it is necessary sometimes. I am not sorry about what I say, I am sorry that it may hurt sometimes. We as Women, Mothers, wives, sisters, friends, We have the responsibility to be Nurturing… caring…FIXERS!! THERE’S a TRUTH!!
We all try to be honest with ourselves, at least I hope We do. It is NOT an easy feat! Sometimes, looking at ourselves from the outside makes the Truth a little easier to see. Then We must decide to digest and accept it, or, if it is not acceptable, change it!
I feel… and again, this is JUST MY OPINION.. and like everyone else, just like as asshole, WE ALL HAVE ONE! (laughing out loud now) My dad used to say that ALL the time.. HE didn’t like too many humans. I miss Him. He was a Hard ass Man.. no doubt. I believe that it is mostly because of Him that I am the Woman I have become.
Another TRUTH about Myself. I am not able at the present time.. no, that’s NOT the truth.. the TRUTH is.. I do not want to be part of a relationship with a Man.. ANY MAN at this time. Meaning… I know Myself, and being part of a relationship with another adult, as in a boyfriend, fiancé, husband.. what have you… I do not choose that road. Reason? I am too selfish at this time. My children still need Me to focus on them. It is MY responsibility to assure they have the skills needed to be successful HUMANS! Also, the TRUTH is I do not want to be responsible for another humans feelings or actions. You can argue that this is not so in a relationship, IT IS!! What I DO, SAY, THINK.. will have some type of affect on either the relationship or the other human in the relationship.
I believe there are other Women in the world who may feel the same way. Maybe they are honest about it.. maybe not. Their choice. I find that when We pass judgment on others We are taking on the role of our Creator. (Trying to keep it P.C.. God, Allah, Buddha… Aliens… whomever YOU believe is Our Creator.. another post for another time). I certainly do not enjoy it when someone judges Me solely on THIER beliefs. Because, again… Different beliefs.. different views.. different opinions.. that IS what makes US HUMAN!
Back to TRUTH. I think as long as We are able to SEE the TRUTH about Ourselves, then it is ALWAYS a positive thing! When We know and accept what needs to be changed, or improved, or deleted from Our person then We have SEEN the TRUTH. What YOU do with that TRUTH makes it YOURS!
Can YOU tell Yourself the TRUTH? Can YOU HEAR… the TRUTH? I believe that when We are comfortable asking Ourselves the difficult questions, THEN We can make the necessary adjustments to Our being. Because, after all…. isn’t LIFE just one big learning and growing experience.. ?
THIS is MY truth!!